Regression

Dear Baby Beck,
Please, please, please can we have just a little bit more of this?

While you have never been an amazing sleeper, you have always been a good one. Random nights here and there would find you waking, but you've always calmed down and gone back to sleep quickly with a little head rubbing and a paci, at most. But these last two weeks. Oh, these last two weeks! I swear it has been like having a newborn in the house all over again. Except louder. And more un-relenting.

It started when you got sick (which is also the same time we changed your mattress which Daddy swears is the culprit). As you were getting better, so was your sleep. Until you hurt your leg last week. Since then it has been something different every night. Some nights you don't want to go to sleep in the first place, others you wake multiple times, others you wake up and want to stay up (for the record, I was not at all happy waking up and starting my day at 3:40 am on Sunday morning Saturday night?).

I'm not sure what the issue is. At first I assumed you were in pain and that broke my heart. Of course I went in, picked you up, rocked you, whatever. Now, however, it seems you have just gotten used to us coming in and fussing over you in the middle of the night. You most definitely have us wrapped around your little finger. How else do you explain the smiles and giggles as soon as we come in and the blood-curdling screams when we leave?

Tonight you took forever falling asleep and I am now attempting to re-Ferberize you (though Daddy can't stand it and always goes in and cuddles you). You are finally down for who knows how long. Please let it be until morning. Please. I have said a prayer, crossed my fingers, and knocked on wood. That's got to count for something, right?

All I know is I am tired. Very, very tired. I already get up at 5 am so these lost minutes that are turning into hours of sleep every night are beginning to wear on me. I love you so very much, but this has got to stop. Tonight. Or I just may lose my mind. Seriously.

xo,
Mommy