Sunday, January 4, 2015

Imperfectly perfect

It's odd the kind of thing that can make you sit down and start documenting after nearly ten months of silence. There are so many posts in my head, some that may still be written, many that will not and not a day goes by that I don't have a draft running through my mind. But today. Today! Today is the day that inspired me to finally sit down and write.

It really was a nothing of a day. There were ups and downs, and at least one temper tantrum to be sure. But what sits with me tonight as the boys are both in bed is that today I felt like a pretty good mom. Not a great one by any means and not even the nicest (at one point Anderson did declare that I am a "horrible, horrible mommy! The worst, really!"), but north enough of crappy that I can sit down and not question every decision of the day, rolling over in my mind the "should haves" and the "if only"s. 

I stood my ground at the aquarium when I told the boys they could have nothing from the gift shop (hence the aforementioned horrible mommy comment) despite the loud protests, sass and tears from my kids and the side-eyes from everyone else. I had a car talk with Anderson about being grateful for what he has and saving his own money for the things he wants. I heard at least 4 spontaneous "I love you"s from the boys. TO EACHOTHER!!! And, even more shocking, I somehow made it through Costco with the two of them without threats, bribes, or both. Heck, I even got them both to pick up after themselves. 

On my best day I'm a mediocre parent at best. I yell, I lose my patience, I make empty threats, and I say things I shouldn't. But today somehow, although I'm sure I did all of the above at some point, I allowed myself to just take it all in stride. And it was a good day.