Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Feeling Lousy

Beck, I took you to the doctor yesterday for your 8/9 month check up and it seems I have been failing you a bit. I am so sorry. I try so hard to do what is best for you, but clearly things aren't as perfect as I would like. It was like a punch to the belly.

Where you have been in the 10-25% percentile for weight, you have now dropped to below 5%. I just don't understand. You do nothing but eat all day long. You are up to 3 meals a day and eat about a pound of cheerios in between. I make all of your food so that I can control what is going into your body, but apparently you aren't taking in enough calories. Hopefully adding in higher calorie and higher protein foods will get you to where you need to be. If not, I'm just not sure what happens next.

And speaking of your diet, you are also anemic. They pricked your toe (you didn't even flinch, you are so strong) and within a minute let me know that your iron level is low. Again, it comes back to me. I have been so concerned about feeding you vegetables and grains that I have ignored iron rich foods and meats. I am now giving you a supplement (which you absolutely hate) and am adding tons of spinach to your diet. Soon will be red meat, though pureed steak just sounds horrendous.

Add those two pretty major issues to the "he seems to have some dry skin issues", "you might want to put some Desitin on this little diaper rash", and the concern over the fact that you just started sitting 3 days ago at almost 9 months and I just about died. Fortunately your doctor did not seem to think anything was of huge concern and is confident we can get it all under control. We'll go back for a weight check and an iron level test and hopefully all will be well.
I left with my tail between my legs. How could I have not known that there was something wrong? Am I not in tune with you? Do I not pay enough attention? There is nothing worse than the feeling that you are letting your baby down. I would do anything to make you happy and healthy. Even pureeing the steak. Just be OK. Please.

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