A year ago today...

A year ago today I left work at lunch for my 33 week pregnancy check up. Papers everywhere, no lesson plans for the next day and no copies made, I had every intention of going back to get ready for the next day's classes. Well, maybe I was just planning on coming in early the next day to prepare, as OBGyn appointments can sometimes take longer than expected. But surely I was not planing on driving myself to the hospital and checking myself in to be placed on strict hospital-monitored bed rest. Had I had any inclination whatsoever that tings were not going well you can bet Gabe never would have been allowed to leave for SXSW in Austin. Never!

I don't remember much about that appointment, only breaking down to the doctor telling her how scared I was. How alone I felt. I remember her hugging me and telling me that, against her judgement, she was allowing me to drive home only long enough to pack a bag and return to the hospital, not knowing if I would be there for 1 day or the full 7 weeks until my due date. I clearly remember walking to my car and breaking down again once I got there. I called Gabe. I called my mom. I called my sister. Who would care for Anderson? When would/could Gabe get home? How long would I be in the hospital? What about Anderson's birthday (3 days later!)? And his party that weekend!? And what about work? Oh my gosh- my desk! My lunch and an enormous mess was still sitting on my desk!

As I settled into my hospital bed, hooked to numerous monitors and machines and being pumped full of liquids I tried so hard to keep focused. To put my feelings of desperation, sadness, loneliness, and fear aside and remain focused on my baby. This is what he needed. This was his way of telling me to knock it off and slow down. To reflect and to rest. I cancelled the birthday party, made arrangements to not return to work until the fall and did the only thing I could- just lay there.

Little rest was had while in the hospital that week and even less was had in the week and a half that I actually got to spend in my own bed before Baby Beck's early arrival. Truly, the term "bed rest" is just silly. Somehow being forced to stay in bed and not move to do anything other than go to the bathroom when you feel perfectly fine is perhaps the least restful scenario imaginable.

As I plan not one, but TWO parties this year during these same couple of weeks I am spending a lot of time thinking about how much time I devote to things that just aren't that important. I'm still doing too much, too fast; but I am making the effort to scale back. Being a good mom means being a present mom. Perhaps thats what Beck has taught me most. He has always demanded a little more attention from me as if to say, "hey there, lady, stop trying to do so much that nobody but you will notice and spend your time with ME!". He's right. In so many ways, he is perfectly right.

The picture I sent to Gabe's phone once I was all hooked up. Takes me back to that moment instantly.  

2 More Days

Only 2 more days until the "monster truck and kitty cat" party (with a couple of rainbows sprinkled in). Anderson can't wait. The forecast calls for lots of rain (rainbow?) so we'll see how well this party translates to the indoors. At least we are keeping it small (well, as small as possible with this giant family) given that it may be a rather "cozy" gathering.

I'm happy with the way the invites and labels turned out, though maybe simpler than I would have liked. I needed a "cute" monster truck as inspiration and I found this one here and just drew something similar. As much as I would have liked to, however, I just couldn't justify spending $6 to ship the $4 plates no matter how cute. Fortunately he's 3 and he'll never know.

Mighty Ball

I am pretty sure there are few things cuter than a bunch of 3 year olds playing t-ball. The giant helmets, the teeny uniforms, and the stops in the middle of the game as players have to be rushed to the potty- it's all just too much. It's just a shame that Anderson spent the good part of the game running off, riding his bike, and exploring because I would have loved to have spent a little more time watching those little guys run all over the field. I think it's safe to say that Anderson doesn't quite yet possess Smithy's talent for hitting the ball, but it's defintitely on the list of outside activites now that it's staying lighter later.

The kid to dad ratio is about 1:1. I love that little kid in the right hand corner. He looks very serious. And the kid being told to turn around? Too funny.

When you don't want to pay attention, you have to stand in the naughty circle...

 Because there are balloon guys at t-ball games and cousins like to sword fight.

Baseball makes you hungry.

Spring Forward

So excited to be moving towards spring. Longer days, warmer weather, and the excitement that comes as the school year begins its final decent into summer. After the next few weeks of birthdays, birthday parties, and Easter, I can't wait to sit back and soak up the days without much on my mind.

These two are already enjoying the longer days. And that water was about 60 degrees (he would put his legs in, jump out, dry them off, then go back for more- future Polar Bear?). At least I am only posting the pictures where he still had some clothes on. Beck found the whole thing rather amusing to watch.

Homemade

As I prepared carrots for Baby Beck tonight it hit me that this may very well be the last time I make a large batch of baby food. Who knows if I will have another a baby and Beck is eating nearly all finger foods these days. (Carrots are the last of the purees as they make me the most fearful of choking.) I have had two babies to feed now and am proud to say I have not once purchased a jar, a little tub, nor a pouch of pre-made food for either one. OK, I do buy the squeezy things of apple sauce, but that is simply because Anderson thinks they are so much fun.

It's not that I have anything against store-bought baby food, it's just that I could never personally justify the expense (I mean, a pound of organic carrots at Trader Joe's only costs 79 cents. Yes, the fancy organic ones. That's a lot of premade pouches of carrots for a fraction of the cost) nor the not-entirely-natural color of those pre-packaged baby foods. Because even the organic, all natural, super expensive carrots are strangely dark in color compared to the ones I just pulled off the stove.

I don't know that I ever intended to make all of the food for both of the boys, but it just became the way I did things. I made it every two weeks or so and suppllemented with finger foods as it became easier to do so. I never worried about "stages" or readiness for certain foods and they transitioned from purees to solids without issue as I offered both at the earliest signs of them being ready.

With Baby Beck it seems like I have hardly spent any time at all in the kitchen peeling, steaming, and mashing (maybe I have just become more efficient). It's just one more sign of how fast he is growing up. Who knows if, in the long run, it makes any difference at all that I chosen to make food as opposed to buy it in the baby aisle. I'm sure it probably doesn't. And surely it doesn't make me any better than evry other mom out there who buys their baby food. But I have a toddler who requests spinach as a snack and who recently pushed aside a cupcake to eat carrots, so I have to believe there must be something to being raised on food that looks, smells, feels, and tastes the way it should.

 Wow are those are some seriously bright carrots!

Baby Beck : 11 months

Only one month to go (not even, as I am of course writing this a week in). One more month before we celebrate a whole year of Baby Beck. This past month has been one of the best so far. There is something about 10 months that is pretty fantastic. In the last month you have really changed and I feel we are getting longer glimpses of who you will be. You are strong willed, you are tough, and you are independent. You are incredibly sweet. You have found your place in this family and you use your voice to be heard. You love to be on your own, but when you want to be held, there is no letting go. You love to snuggle and you are learning to give kisses. There is no better feeling.

Since last month:

Teeth: You are up to six and counting. These last two didn't seem to be nearly as bothersome as the first few. I am beyond thankful for that.

Eating: You are back to consuming large quantities of food. A whole waffle for breakfast, meat, vegetables, cheese and yogurt for breakfast, and for the most part, whatever we are having for dinner. Apple sauce is still a favorite as are bread and peas. You continue to eat your weight in cheerios on a daily basis.

Drinking: Milk, milk, milk. You take water when you eat or when it is hot, but you love your "baba". You drink a combination of breast milk (I discovered a secret stash!), formula, and whole milk throughout the day. I am counting the days until the formula is a thing of the past. I promised myself that the last can I bought would be the last can ever, but I am not so sure. Your iron level is still low and I just don't see how the added iron in the formula can be a bad thing. I sure do hate mixing those bottles, though!

Crawling: You are everywhere. Everywhere. The cat food is still your favorite destination, but you also make a b-line for your toy basket and any open doors. Your crawl is still very much a crawl and you are making no efforts to walk (which is so fine by me), but you are showing a rather new interest in pulling yourself up.
Sleeping: You have continued to sleep well and I have continued to be a pushover and bring you a bottle in the early morning. I just don't have it in me to mess with it right now. It really doesn't bother me and, honestly, I just don't want to deal with trying to break it at 4 am until I am not having to get up at 5 for work. Maybe spring break or summer, but not now. Oh, and I have started a new terrible habit for you of letting you fall asleep with your bottle. At bedtime you really just want me to put you in your bed so you can do your thing and fall asleep on your own. Since that means you have not had time to finish your bottle I just let you have it. You finish it rather quickly and you do not fall asleep with it in your mouth so I don't really see the harm except for every single "be a good mom" book I have read advises against it. Please don't be 12 and still needing a bottle in your bed. That would be bad.

Crying: Not unless your brother smacks you or knocks you upside the head with a toy. Unfortunately that is rather often.

Talking: You don't have any definite repeated words quite yet, but "mama", and "ball" have come up more than a couple of times. Your favorite syllable seems to be "da" and you say it often. I'm waiting for it to turn into a meaningful "dada", but I think we're a couple weeks off yet. I still claim "mama" as your first word.

Health: You are growing well (75th percentile), but your weight has yet to catch up. At least you have made it back onto the charts (4th percentile). I continue to feed you as much as possible and am hopeful for your next appointment. Certainly nobody is calling you a chubby baby.

General cuteness: You love your teddy, your blankie, and your big blue dog. You rub your face in them and giggle and it is beyond cute. You also love to move your finger over your lips (or have me do it) and make a motor sound. Cracks me up every time and I have yet to capture it on video. You love "pat a cake". Makes you forget about the aforementioned smacks from your brother almost instantly. And you clap! You can clap your hands together and have been doing so for about two weeks now. It is so great to see you have such a physical response to things that make you happy. You are so much fun.

This month has been the most challenging so far in terms of taking your picture. You escape every single time. I actually did them twice and still only have a fraction to show for the hundreds I shot. That's OK; they are what they are and they capture your spirit perfectly.

Underwear Update

Exactly one week ago today we had a nearly three year old who absolutely refused to use the potty. On Thursday, however,  he told me how much he wanted to go to school, begged in fact. When I told him there were no diapers allowed in school he quickly grabbed his underwear and decided it was time. Less than a week, only 3 accidents, and not even  a whole tube of M&M minis later and we have a boy who actually tells us when he needs to go (which is a very good thing, because we were probably not as good about asking as we should have been). Apparently last Wednesday he just wasn't ready. Last Thursday he was. Almost 3 year olds are funny like that.
Surely there will be more accidents. And we haven't even begun to think about night time (he's still in a crib, so how would that even work?) nor have we pressured him into doing anything other than pee pee. But for now we are thrilled. Of course the UPS man delivered a box of 100 diapers just last week; good thing we have another diaper wearer in the house.

Saturday

Saturdays are special. The only day when we are both home with the kids, we have to make the most of them. Perfect weather made for a pretty perfect day of outdoor chores (gardening and pool cleaning), a trip to In N Out, an afternoon at the beach, and  Thrifty ice cream. These days of nice weather, no work, and no obligations are few and far between in this house. Oh! And somebody is getting pretty good at this whole big-boy underwear thing! (seems m&ms can convince him to do just about anything)

Underwear

We are very slowly tip-toeing our way into the world of potty training. Underwear has been purchased, worn, even (by both Anderson and his blue dog), the potty book has been read (and even requested), and the step stool sits by the potty. But still we wait. And wait. And wait some more. It seems that it is not enough for mommy and daddy to be totally fed up with diapers; turns out the boy needs to be as well. And, well, he's just not quite there yet. Something about him looking you in the eyes and screaming, "NEVER! I will NEVER go poopy on the potty!!!" kind of makes you re-think the whole thing. But time is ticking. Not only is he about to turn 3, but he must be completely potty trained by the time he goes to school in the summer. Oh my. I sense a couple of long days couped up in the house with a naked boy are on the horizon.

Turquoise cheetah socks, alligator boots, balls, and bungee cords

The weather has been nice here (despite it being "ski week") and we have had the whole week to play. Plans to potty train were thwarted, a visit to the preschool turned into a full-fledged temper tantrum because someone wants to "go to school RIGHT NOW!!!" instead of in the summer, the boys made new friends in the sons of one of mommy's old ones, and 2 birthdays were celebrated. Some favorite moments from the week: