I need a little Christmas cheer

2011

 



Christmas is my favorite. My favorite. Yet for some reason I'm having a hard time getting in to the whole spirit of the season this year. The tree is up, the lights are hung, the carols are playing and most of the shopping is complete, yet I'm simply not feeling it. I know it's the time of year to put others first, but I think that's just it- I spend so much time shopping, creating, planning, and doing for everyone else that I lose myself along the way. As much as I enjoy all of the output, it allows very little time to just relax and enjoy Christmas with my own little family.

I bring much of it upon myself, that is without question. I rarely say no, and feel guilty when I do, and the procrastinator in me just won't cut me a break. And the fact that money is tight (is it ever not?) only forces me to be creative in my gift-giving which honestly, sometimes, is just so much better in theory than reality. And my decorations? Don't even let me think about how much I can't stand 90% of the decorations I own but continue to put up year after year because at Christmas time I'd rather spend my money on gifts than decor only to complain about it the following December.

But what is the alternative? Would it be Christmas if we didn't all stand in front of the tripod all dressed up taking literally hundreds of photos in an effort to capture just one where we are all in the frame and no one is screaming so that we can send them to 100 people who will toss them aside because they have absolutely no idea what is involved in photographing, creating, and printing your own cards? The answer is no. No it wouldn't. And so tomorrow after a few more Christmas-related errands (not for myself) and hopefully finishing off some homemade gifts we will don our gay apparel and turn the living room into a photo studio and I will, even if I have to pretend, get in the spirit. For 'tis the season and I am going to make every effort over the next few days to begin to feel the joy. If we have to bake two dozen gingerbread men and visit Candycane Lane seventeen times, I will find my Christmas cheer this year.