There's something about Trader Joe's

Within the last 6 or so months, while shopping at Trader Joe's:

• Anderson pulled over a shopping cart on himself while Beck was sitting in the seat (5 firemen just happened to be there and came to our rescue)
• Anderson had a hysterical meltdown (kicking, screaming, most likely spitting) over not getting a second sample of something (God only knows what)
• Anderson nearly stole a bag of Trail Mix and a bag of Gummy Penguins (we walked back in and returned them)
• A woman pulled me aside in the freezer aisle just to say, "it's OK, we've all been there" as a reaction to the insanity (albeit usually joyful insanity) that is my two boys in a tiny grocery store, one of whom wields his own shopping cart haphazardly through the aisles
• I dropped a hundred dollar bill on the floor only to discover it was missing when I went to pay for my groceries (I am forever indebted to the nice woman with the "God bless!" voicemail who turned it in)
• An elderly woman got down at Anderson's level while I was singing/dancing in the aisle (it was Come on Eileen, for goodness sakes) and proclaimed, "your mom's a crazy lady!"
• I had to put groceries back at the checkout when I realized I had left my wallet at home and only had a twenty in my pocket (which of course made Anderson's day as he had a legitimate reason to sing "only got twenty dollars in my pocket"). This of course caused me to have a Terms of Endearment flashback to that scene where Debra Winger is mortified at the grocery when she doesn't have enough money and everyone stares at her as if she is some sort of incompetent mother who can't even afford to feed her kids. Oh, how I love, love, love that movie, but I digress.

And then, yesterday, the best of the best:

• I locked my keys, my cell phone, and my children in the car. My kids! Trapped in their car seats, talking (screaming) through the window, not even 1 minute after I had warned them against this very thing. (Seriously, just listen to me! I am wise!) It was quite a dilemma and thanks to the kindness of many strangers (and one kind of grouchy dad who lent me his cell phone) I remained calm and handled the situation. Unfortunately I apparently drive a "high security vehicle" ha! and AAA was proving to be a bit of a hassle (locksmith? since when can't you bend a coat hanger and open that sucker up?) so I did what I do best and called my parents to help. Fortunately it wasn't a terribly hot day and within 40 minutes or so my babies were in my arms once again. Needless to say, Anderson learned his lesson about not pushing the door lock button, "never again, mommy!". All's well that ends well.

And so, Trader Joe's, I shop with fear every single week for I know my days of cheap wine and milk are numbered. It's OK, I don't blame you. Clearly there is a black cloud that follows me on every trip. Who knows what damage we are capable of causing? Perhaps there is some sort of secret employee announcement when you see me walk in the door. She's here! Hide the samples! My only saving grace is that Trader Joe's is still the unpretentious, down-to-Earth grocery for nice, normal people and so far nobody has kindly suggested that I try doing my shopping at the Trader's down the street. Not yet, at least.

Budget Schmudget

A food mill, a new faucet, new door knobs for the entire house, a new dress, some new pants, new dish towels (mine are getting kind of grungy), a 36" flat screen for the play room, a Frappucino, some fabric for new pillows in the bedroom, 31 Flavors, some fancy dish soap, a Groupon for Lasher's, a new car, some new clothes for both boys, and new makeup are all things that I thought about buying today. Like in the last 12 hours. Is this normal? Please tell me this is normal. I mean I don't really think I'm obsessed with shopping as I don't actually spend money on all of these things. But I think about them. All day. Every time I walk from one room to another something pops into my mind that I would like to have. I mean I truly believe I could blow through wads of cash every day if only given the opportunity. I think it is the same sensation that prompts me to indulge int the dollar section at Target every time I'm there (though maybe that is a different sensation all together which only makes my problem worse). And although I am not obsessed with shopping per se, I seem to spend quite a bit of money all the same. And its running out. Quickly.
Today I actually thought about going on a bit of a debt diet. Really, how hard could it be to go a whole month only buying the necessities? Trips to Target could be wonderfully streamlined, only buying those important items off the list such as toilet paper and tooth paste, not a new sweater and earrings and a Hot Wheel for Anderson. I could plan my menus and go to the grocery to buy only those ingredients I need for the recipes instead of filling my basket with "Mini Mint Mouthfuls" and dark chocolate covered salted caramel bites.
Yes! I can do it. I can give up fancy coffee and wear my old pre-pregnancy clothes. I can cook at home and settle for eating what we have instead of going out and getting what I feel like. I can use coupons (Lord knows I spend enough time clipping them!) I can live within my means and and give our budget a little breathing room. At least I think I can. Well, maybe it's more like I hope I can. I suppose all I can do is try. And given that I did not buy one un-necessary item today I think I'm off to a pretty good start. Though, technically, the month hasn't started yet so I guess it was more just like practice.

If I had an extra $100...

Today I would have bought these:

And 6 of these:

An extra $100

I could very easily spend an extra $100 a day just on stuff that makes me happy. As a matter of fact, I think I am going to post when these little thoughts pop into my mind. Maybe that way when I find that unclaimed $100 bill in an empty parking lot (I'm sure this is a totally plausible scenario) or I win some extra cash playing a scratcher (must buy scratchter at grocery tomorrow!), I'll know what to do. As I type this it seems to me that I remember there being a feature in Real Simple where they ask people what they would do with an extra $100. They must be asking either very wealthy or extremely virtuous people because they always want to buy everyone a Starbucks or donate it or send it to children in Uganda. And, trust me, it's not like I wouldn't love to do that, too, it's just that this is my little blog and I want to think about how I could spend the money on myself. Or my house. Or my kids. Kids, plural. Wow, I think that's the first time I've said or written that since having Baby Beck. Wow. But I digress completely. Anyway, this is my imagination that gets to spend this money and I will harness no guilt for doing with it what I please. Although maybe I'll have days when I want to spread my imaginary money around. Maybe.